


Destiny Will Find You Wherever You Are

by agent_cherri_cola



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Boyfriends, College, Love Triangles, M/M, Religion, Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:49:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28941747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agent_cherri_cola/pseuds/agent_cherri_cola
Summary: Frank just can't believe that this third-year student, who is the founder of the Christian club and also an avid smoker, is his destiny. Absolutely impossible.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 24
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

In his room, Frank found a boy. 

He was lying on one of the beds and smoking, staring at the ceiling.

Frank looked at the documents and the number on the door one more time. Room 735, the last one on the floor, he must be right. Is this his roommate? He’s kinda weird. Dressed in a suit, with a tie on his neck. Why? There was something royal in his profile with that upturned nose. And messy black hair. Okay, stop staring, Frank thought, time to show yourself.

When he finally pushed his enormous suitcase through the doorway, the guy lying on the bed lazily turned his head to face him and didn’t even try to get up.

"Well hello there, Frank Iero," he said and took a drag, starting to blow rings of smoke.

"Uhm… Hello? Are you Ray?"

"Pfft, no, I’m not. I’m Way. Gerard Way."

Frank was a bit confused. It’s not his roommate. He doesn’t live here. So what is he doing here? What a weird name. Gerard. Who names their kids Gerard? You could name your son Darth, and it would be equally as bad.

"How… Wait. Isn’t there a fire alarm? I mean, you’re not supposed to smoke in a dorm…"

Gerard laughed and sat up. 

"This is the only room in the entire dorm where the fire alarm is broken. I come here to smoke from time to time. Ray doesn’t mind. And you? Does cigarette smoke bother you?" he asked, frowning.

"Uhm… I guess not. So you’re Ray’s friend?"

"Yeah. He hasn’t arrived yet."

Gerard jumped off the bed, opened the window and threw the cigarette butt right outside.

"You should come to the student fair tomorrow. And join the Christian club, I’m the founder," he patted Frank’s shoulder and walked out of the room, leaving the door wide open.

Iero rolled his eyes and closed the door, annoyed by this impudent fellow. Christian club? Seriously?

Now that the eccentric guy had left, Frank sighed, relieved, and finally looked around the room. Not very big, but not like a closet, as his grandfather had warned him. Frank was supposed to live here with another guy — according to the documents, his name was Ray Toro. Frank wondered what he was like. Maybe they will be friends.

Dull white walls could be easily decorated with posters, Frank thought, the cork board above the table on Frank's half could be filled with photographs of loved ones, he could also put scented candles everywhere so that in the evenings after classes he could relax in his cozy corner with a good book.

Frank's window on the seventh floor had an excellent view of the campus - beautiful Victorian-style academic buildings, a stadium, other dormitories - there are both modern and old buildings (Frank got into a seven-story building called Scorpio - twelve dorm buildings were named after the signs of the zodiac) , a mowed bright green lawn and a lot of people walking back and forth with suitcases - after all, very soon (the day after tomorrow!) the school year started. Frank was a freshman, and his life outside of home was just beginning for him. He was already looking forward to spending time with new friends and attending mind-blowing parties, but the main thing that excited him was studying. University is not a high school, here you will not be forced to study maths or science at the faculty of English language and literature. There will be only the necessary knowledge, and Iero was ready to absorb it like a sponge.

The door opened, and a short thin lady came in. Her hair was the color of milk chocolate, and her eyes were exactly like Frank’s.

"It’s not that bad here," she said, looking around the room. "Do you need help with unpacking?"

"No, mom, thanks. I have one day and a half for that. You know I saw a pizza place not far from here — you wanna eat an entire Hawaiian with me like in the good old times?"

The woman smiled sadly.

"Sure. Oh Frankie, you’re now 800 miles away from home…"

Iero came up to her and enclosed her in a tight embrace. 

"Come on, mom, I’m going to be okay. We won’t fight as much as we used to, and I will come home for the holidays."

He felt his mother smile.

"Okay, honey, let’s go to that pizza place… Wait. What’s that smell? I hope you didn’t smoke, did you?"

"No, must be someone from the street," Frank replied and walked towards the window to close it. That Way couldn’t even close the window. Oh well. They had only just met once, and Gerard had already annoyed the shit out of him. 

***

After pizza, mom drove home, and, having said goodbye to her, Frank walked all the way from the parking lot to the Scorpio dorm. It was about half past five in the evening. On the central lawn, there were students sitting in groups and discussing something. Someone was playing the guitar. Iero breathed in the aroma of the last summer days — the smell of a bonfire, freshly mowed grass and late-blooming flowers. So far, he enjoyed everything — it seemed as if his dreams were becoming reality.

Back in his room there was an unpacked suitcase patiently waiting for him and some boxes with books and personal stuff, and also, as it turned out, his roommate — a guy with a shock of curls on his head and a guitar in his hands.

"Hey! Are you Ray?" Frank asked him stepping through the doorway.

"Yes," the guy replied, smiling. "You’re… Frank Lero?"

"Iero."

"Frankie then," and he winked at Frank, continuing to tune his guitar.

"Oh, so you play too?" Iero happily took his own guitar that he had put behind the bed. Here was already something they both had in common, Frank thought, they would always have something to talk about.

"What’s your favourite band?"

"Fall Out Boy," Frank replied without hesitation. "And yours?"

"Iron Maiden. Will you play something?"

Woah, he’s a real metalhead, Frank thought to himself. Fall Out Boy looks like a Disney band next to Iron Maiden, the kings of metal. So what? Music can’t be the same, so he decided to play his favourite song. 

Frank sat on his bed with his guitar, and his hands started to move over the strings as usual. A very short introduction, one chord, another, one more, and he began to sing, looking at the guitar and his fingers - he still couldn't play without looking.

When reaching the chorus, Iero had almost forgotten that he was being intently watched by Ray.

"So which is it: the boy who writes the songs or the boy who’s in them?.." Frank sang.

Having repeated the chorus twice, Frank stopped, breathed out, put away his guitar and cautiously looked at Ray, who was frowning.

"You know I loved FOB at 14, but I swear I don’t remember this song."

"It’s called Hand of God and it didn’t make it to any album, but I still love it very much."

"You know it’s hella gay, right?" 

"Yeah," Frank smiled. "It’s about a love triangle. Never been in one, but it must be interesting."

"We need a rhythm guitar player in the band," and when Ray said it in a conspiratorial tone, Iero's eyes widened. Wow, is he really going to play in a band? "Auditions tomorrow evening, after the fair. Maybe you’ll go? You play great, I liked it. You sure will outdo everyone there! It will be cool if you take on not only the guitar, but also the backing vocals,” Ray smiled encouragingly.

"Will… Gerard be there?" and as soon as he said it, he regretted his words. He was trying to stay away from people like Gerard as far as possible.

"So Gee’s already been here?" Ray laughed. "He might seem weird at first glance, but you’ll get used to it. I’ve been trying to talk him into being our main vocalist, but he just refuses."

So he sings… What a remarkable personality.

Ray took his phone.

"Woah, I’m late to the first practice this year. I’ll tell Gerard you said hello."

Thank you very much. Frank decided not to reply. Ray started looking for something in his bag which he took from under the bed, and finally he held out a notebook.

"Here, learn one of these songs. I’ll come late, don’t wait for me."

"Okay," Iero replied, taking the notebook.

Ray hurriedly put his guitar in a gig bag, took it and quickly left. Frank was lying on his mattress and looking through the notebook. He was pretty much impressed by a song without a title. The lyrics there were as follows:

"Trust, you said,  
who put the words in your head?  
Oh, how wrong we were to think  
that immortality is never dying."

He suddenly wanted to know who wrote these lines. It must be someone very witty and wise, as they talk about death this way. "I’ll ask Ray tomorrow," Frank promised to himself.

He spent the rest of the evening learning this song. He wanted to lie down on the bed with the guitar but fell asleep, not having his suitcase unpacked.


	2. Chapter 2

"Look who’s here, my good old friend Frank Iero!"

Frank rolled his eyes. He was walking around the student fair that took place right on the central lawn on this bright day, and he almost accidentally came across the stand of the Christian club.

Gerard was slouched in a chair behind a small table with a «Keep calm and join our Christian club» sign. Again, he was dressed to kill, but this time, his shirt was black and the tie was red. He was wearing sunglasses. It seemed as though Gerard never combed his messy black hair, but he nevertheless looked damn attractive. Frank couldn’t help thinking that Gerard would rock literally any hair style and any hair color.

"We only met yesterday. You’re lying, and that’s a sin," Frank replied.

"The fact that I’m the head of this club doesn’t make me an ideal Christian, you should know that, Iero," snd Gerard took a list of names and gave it to one of the girls sitting next to him. "Lara, put his name down, Frank I-e-r-o. Welcome, Frankie," and he handed him a booklet and a button badge.

Frank rolled his eyes again but took both things, putting the booklet in a pocket and pinning the badge on his jacket.

"That’s the spirit," Gerard smiled, and Frank thought the sun became even brighter. "Let’s go, I’ll show you around."

They walked down the path across the central lawn of the campus. Tables with bright signs of the names of the clubs and their emblems stood around randomly, junior students were walking around these tables, and there were more than enough senior students too. The weather was excellent, but the end of summer was already in the air — from time to time, the cold autumn wind blew in and ruffled Frank’s hair, penetrated under clothes and made him shiver and button up his thin jacket right to the chin.

"Look, here we have the meathead club," and Gerard gestured at a group of guys who looked like body builders, they were grouped around the table with a sign saying, "There is healthy mind in a healthy body." Frank doubted that drinking 10 gallons of protein cocktails a day was a sign of health, but he didn’t say anything.

"All that keeps them at our university is a sports scholarship, so they are obsessed with sports and football in particular. Come on, they even bought barbells from the gym," Gerard said and rolled his eyes.

He led Frank down the path, past the booths of clubs ranging from pie-baking to independent writers and dungeon-and-dragons players. There were a lot of freshmen around - they could be easily distinguished by new backpacks.

“Look to your right,” Gerard whispered in Frank’s ear conspiratorially, “the artists. Once I was a member of their club, but I was kicked out a month later when they found out that I draw without construction. Snobs,” and Way smiled and waved at the guy at the table. "Hi Jake!"

"Construction basics, Gerry!" the guy replied.

Frank noticed that Gerard was pissed off by "Gerry" — he was frowning and clenching his jaw. I have to remember, Frank thought with a grin.

"Music club right in front of us. We have several of them. There are lovers of classical music — generally boring dudes who consider their work to be cooler than, for example, what the guys from the rock club do. There is also a group of rappers who have both solo and group projects. Well, do you see that curly thing over there? This is our Ray of sunshine, the head of the rock club. As many as eleven bands were created under his guidance. Half of them broke up after a couple of months, but this is not his fault. The dean of the Faculty of Music adores him - as we all do. Hey Mikes!"

They were approached by a tall thin boy in glasses, a beanie and with a brand new red backpack. "Must be a freshman," Frank thought.

"Frankie, this is my little brother Michael."

"You can call me Mikey," the boy said, adjusting his glasses. He frowned and looked at his brother. "Gee, is it really so hard to turn on your phone and answer my texts? I came here two hours ago, and all this time I’ve been looking for the Scorpio dorm and our room."

"But you’ve found it, haven't you? Alright, brother, Frankie, have fun here, and I’m going to recruit more people for our Christian club," and Gerard turned around and walked back to the club stand.

"Asshole," Mikey said and folded his arms. "He made you join his stupid club too?"

"Yeah."

"He signed me up last year when I came here for his birthday, made me put on his badge," and he showed Frank his backpack with button badges on it with anime characters and band logos.

"So he said your name’s Frankie?"

"Just Frank."

"I’m Mikey."

The two boys decided to walk around the fair and share their impressions of the first day at the campus. It turned out that Mikey and Gerard were from Springfield, Illinois, and they would share a room together. Gerard was starting his third year and was studying marketing — he wanted to work in an ad company like his father. Mikey was an English faculty student and, just like Frank, had no idea what to do in the future.

"Hey guys! Do you want to join the rock club?" Ray asked enthusiastically, coming up to them. "Frankie, you’re good at guitar, I know, and you? You’re Mikey, right? Gee told me about you."

"I can only play the tambourine," Mikey said gloomily.

"That’s great, we need tambourine players too! Come on, I’ll sign you up. Don’t forget — auditions at 4. See you at the auditorium."

After a walk around the fair, Mikey and Frank realised they were really hungry — none of them has eaten anything yet (well, Frank ate a couple of protein bars — he brought here an entire box of them and hid it under the bed), so it was decided to go to the canteen of the Scorpio dorm.

"You know I’ll have to live with that slob for two years until he graduates," Mikey was boiling with his mouth full, eating delicious spaghetti with meat sauce. "He put his stuff all over my bed!"

They were mostly discussing Gerard, and Frank became a bit sick of that, so he decided to change the topic.

"I live with Ray in 735, you can always drop by if you get tired of your brother. You can bring your tambourine, and we’ll play something together," Iero smiled.

"I was joking about the tambourine! I’m no player. Me and music don’t get along very well, I can’t even repeat a simple melody. Seems like all the talented genes of our parents were inherited by Gee."

"I bet there’s something you can do exceptionally well."

"Yeah, watch anime. By the way, when Gerard was 13 he was into anime so much that he kept drawing the characters, and our mom was very proud and she told everyone that her son loves hentai, and you know…"

"Oh, I know," Frank giggled.

"She mixed things up, and our neighbour stopped saying hello to us. Imagine, a sixth grader drawing porn… Disgusting. Outrageous. The funniest thing was when mom came to pick him up from the art club and proudly announced to the teachers that her son was into hentai," Mikey was laughing so hard he dropped his fork.

Frank choked on cherry cola laughing. "Hm, another thing to make Gerard mad," he thought.

After Mikey finally finished his heap of spaghetti and Frank ate two huge burgers, the boys decided to go to the auditions because it was almost 4 p.m. Iero went to his room to take the guitar, and together he and Mikey went to the auditorium, knowing absolutely nothing as to its whereabouts. They didn’t feel like asking strangers about it — nobody wants to look like silly little freshmen, so Mikey found a map of the campus on the university’s website, and after some 20 minutes they found their way and came up to the huge building of the auditorium, which stood right behind the library that seemed as huge.

Inside, it was a bit hot and smelled of new plastic. The boys walked through a spacious hall, on the walls of which there was a mosaic with the university’s emblem - the red and black shield and the motto, «Docere et Discere» — in Latin, that meant «to teach and to learn».

"Every year, fall and spring balls take place in this hall," Mikey said, stopping in the middle of the hall and looking at the mosaic walls.

"Gotta find a girlfriend," Frank elbowed him.

"You should ask Gerard. Girls are hurling themselves at him."

Behind the high double doors, there was the 5000-seat auditorium. Yes, at a big university there has to be a correspondingly big auditorium. On the stage, there stood a table, behind which Gerard was sitting with his feet in impeccably shining black boots up. Next to him on the edge of the table sat Ray. Behind them, several people were sitting on chairs . There were also various musical instruments up there — drums, guitars, and even a harp.

"I’m sorry, but we don’t have a band that needs a ukulele," Ray told a boy who had just stopped playing the ukulele. "But you can create your own project. Here," and he handed him a business card. "Call or write to me, and we’ll figure something out."

In the walkway, there was an entire line of people, but when Ray saw Frank, he asked him to come up on stage and told Gerard they’d audition him right away. Gerard nodded silently, chewing on his gum. A few loud voices came from the line.

"Don’t worry, we’ll audition everyone, we have another two hours till the orchestra tryouts," Ray tried to calm the people down.

Turns out Frank didn’t have to bring his guitar all the way here because there were already tuned instruments on stage. But holding his old battered friend, he felt more confident.

He climbed the steps and, trying to calm down his racing heartbeat, decided not to look at anyone. At that moment, there existed only his guitar and his hands.

He started playing. The song was not his, but it seemed as though the sound of the strings turned into something familiar, something close to him, and he finally felt calm when it was time to sing. He didn’t try to limit himself like it was back in his room not to be too noisy for neighbours — this time, he sang clear and as loud as he could, and his voice didn’t even sound as annoying as he had always thought.

Frank finished and looked up. Ray was smiling triumphantly, Gerard’s expression was unreadable — it seemed like he was bored.

"So, I hope everyone agrees with me that we’ve finally found a rhythm guitarist?" Ray asked, turning to the people sitting on chairs beside him.

"Yeah, not bad," a blond guy with a beard said.

"Toro is taking all the good musicians again," a boy in a Green Day t-shirt complained. "You know you don’t have to join Ray’s band. Join us, we’re cover band The Bright Side," he smiled at Frank.

"No way, I was the first to find this gem," Ray rebuffed and turned to Gerard. "Do you agree?"

Gerard was studying his nails.

"I dunno, let’s hear the other guys in line."

"No, we won’t waste our time," Ray replied and said into the mic, "The auditions for the band Chemistry are over!"

Some angry voices were heard from the line, but this time, Gerard was angry too.

"Ray, are you out of your mind?" he exclaimed, standing up. "How can you stop the auditions on the 5th contestant? We have to continue!"

"No, Gee, I swear we won’t find anyone better," Ray tried to reason him.

"I’m sure we will."

"No."

"Then I quit," Gerard jumped off the stage and quickly paced outside past the line of people who looked like they needed popcorn. And of course, he slammed the door behind him.

Frank sighed. Oh well, he had just got accepted to a band, and it was breaking up. He was sad that Gerard didn’t like the way he played — Frank himself thought he played perfectly.

Ray laughed.

"Don’t worry, he’ll cool down. Welcome to our musical family, Frankie!" Ray patted his shoulder and then he saw Mikey standing beside the stage. "Mikey, do you want to make history and become our first tambourine player?"

Mikey rolled his eyes.

"I don’t play the tambourine!"

Ray promised to tell everything about the band that evening in their room. Mikey decided to stay at the auditorium and watch the auditions, and Frank, never mind the successful audition, was a bit sad. Does this Way really think Frank’s untalented? He felt he had to go outside.

Having passed the doors of the auditorium itself and the hall, Frank opened the glass door and stepped outside, breathing deeply — inside, it was stuffy.

"Hey Frankie."

Of course. Gerard was standing with his back against the wall, and he was smoking.

"I thought you were not allowed to smoke at the campus," Iero said gloomily.

"When nobody sees, you are. Why so sour? You should be happy. You’re now in the band of Ray Toro himself."

"But I see you’re not so enthusiastic about it," Frank said, looking Gerard in the eye.

Gerard was silent for a moment, taking a drag and blowing smoke from his nose.

"I’m fucking happy. I’m sorry I was like that, did I hurt you? It's just — we all need a bit of drama in our boring lives."

Oh, so he’s a drama queen. What the actual hell.

"Do you know who wrote the song that I played?"

"I did."

"I’m serious."

«So am I, I wrote it. Not my best one, to be honest."

How can this show-off be the author of such a deep song? Frank was at a loss — he had nothing to say.

"Wanna smoke?" and Gerard handed him a cigarette.

"Sure."

Taking a drag was a bad idea, Iero started coughing and it felt like his lungs were going to come out. Gerard was standing right next to him and was watching him intently.

"You’ll get used to it," he said patronizingly.

Frank looked at him in doubt and took another drag — this time it was really easier, but the hot smoke was still burning his throat.

"Don’t you know that smoking kills?" Frank asked.

"Oh I know Frankie. I fucking do."


	3. Chapter 3

"So, how do you say your band is called?" Frank asked, emptying the contents of his enormous suitcase onto the bed. "Feet!"

"Our band, you’re one of us now," Gerard corrected him, lifting his feet up against the wall not to stain Frank’s clothes with his shoes. He was lying on Iero’s unmade bed and smoking. "Chemistry."

"Chemistry? Seriously? You couldn’t come up with anything cooler?"

"No, we couldn’t," Way replied, annoyed, propped himself on his elbow, stretched his hand and took an open can of cherry cola from Frank’s desk. "Do you have better ideas?" and Gerard flicked his cigarette right into the can.

"I haven’t finished that drink!" Iero exclaimed.

"Too late," Gerard shrugged.

"Just as usual," Mikey casually remarked, sitting on the floor with a magazine he took from Ray's desk. "Ray, how can you read this? It’s only about guitars, even geometry textbooks are more captivating."

"Shhh," Ray replied, scratched something in his notebook, holding the guitar by the neck with his left hand, took a pencil in his teeth and started playing some melody again.

"Don't bother him, he’s writing music for the new song that’s going to be a bomb and blow everyone up at the fall ball," Gerard said, staring up at the ceiling and taking a drag again. Frank, meanwhile, finished hanging his jackets and shirts in the closet and began to arrange the T-shirts by color. Watching him out of the corner of his eye, Way, throwing a cigarette butt into the can, could not stand it and jumped off the bed. 

"You sort your stuff so slowly, it pisses me off," he said, took a stack of T-shirts from Frank and put it on the shelf. "Get your things out of the suitcase, and I'll put them, into the closet," he ordered.

"You put black T-shirts to white!" Iero exclaimed.

"These are band T-shirts! It is logical that they lie side by side."

"Stop yelling at me!"

"I’m not!" and Gerard took another t-shirt. "Oh," he said when he saw the print. "Is this Fall Out Boy?" 

"Yes."

"I love them. Do you?"

"Not really, just liked the design."

Gerard narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"I can’t tell if you’re joking."

Frank rolled his eyes, taking the tee.

"I can’t live without their music. Are you happy now?"

"Oh, I am," Way grinned. "I have a question for you, do you want to go to their concert with me?"

To say that Iero was pleasantly shocked was to say nothing: his heart was beating faster, his eyes lit up, but five seconds later he became sad.

"Are they coming to Nebraska?"

"Yeah. Haven’t you seen their tour dates? The gig will take place at the Omaha sports centre."

"I’d love to go, but… You should go with your best friends or girlfriend to such concerts, not with a dude you first met who pisses you off."

"Ray is now into metal, Mikey listens to Japanese…"

"They’re Koreans!"

Mikey crumpled up Frank’s blanket and put it under his head, reading the magazine.

"…And Lindsey just got disappointed," Gerard finished.

"Disappointed in whom, FOB?"

"Yeah."

"Lindsey is your girlfriend?"

"Yes," Gerard replied, annoyed. He got tired of answering stupid questions.

"You should dump her. She doesn’t know anything about music."

"Do you think I’m going to listen to a dude I first met who pisses me off and dump the love of my life?"

Frank smiled wryly. 

"Well, if I’m your only option, then maybe it’ll work. But… my budget is limited," and Frank’s face went red. 

"Don’t worry," Gerard reassured him. "You’ll pay back when you can. And if you behave well, I won't even demand anything from you," and he poked Frank in the shoulder with his index finger. "Moreover, you are now like a stepbrother to me - we are in the same band."

Iero was a bit ashamed he had thought so bad about Gerard. "Could I do the same to him?" he asked himself and didn’t like the answer. 

"Mikes, what time is it?"

"If you turned on your phone, you wouldn’t have to ask. Half past six."

"Oh, the first meeting of the Christian club! Is everyone ready? Ray?"

All the time they were talking, Toro was busy with one thing - he was writing music. He had a phenomenal ability - he could come up with melodies in absolutely any place with absolutely any background noise, even on the bus (without a guitar, however, it was hard). And now he scribbled something in the sheet music book, put his guitar down, and gleefully looked at his bandmates (and Mikey). 

"I've just finished, wanna hear?" 

"We’ll definitely check out your efforts, Ray, and we’ll do it with the whole club present!" Gerard announced. "Did you forget? AFMOTCCATC! Annual First Meeting Of The Christian Club At The Campfire!"

"What campfire?" Frank didn’t quite understand.

Gerard looked at him as if he had just asked the most stupid question in human history, and said nothing. It was Ray who answered.

"On campus, on the lawn, there is a special place for making a fire. We gather there and sing, chat and solve all sorts of organisational issues. Such meetings happen only twice a year - on the day before the classes start and after summer exams, that is, when the school year ends."

"Are you coming or not?" Gerard asked impatiently, already at the doorway. Mikey got up reluctantly, Ray took his guitar and the notebook, and only Frank was standing at a half-open suitcase with a sneaker in his hand.

"You go, I will catch up with you."

The fact is that he wanted to go to bed early and get some sleep before the first day of uni, and therefore it was necessary to unpack the suitcase as soon as possible.

"Take the guitar," Way said over his shoulder through the open door and walked down the hall. Mikey and Ray followed him.

After fifteen minutes of frantic stuffing his things into the closet, Frank was ready. He grabbed his guitar and ran towards the elevator, but it was going too slowly, and Frank was running out of time, so he took the stairs. He nearly fell a couple of times, but everything was alright in the end, so, when he ran out of the building, he was pretty much out of breath.

Students sat on the lawn in groups, but the fire burned only in one place. That was where Frank went.

Around a metal hemisphere - "hearth" - students were sitting on blankets and discussed something loudly. The fire was burning. Ray was playing the guitar. 

"What did I miss?" Frank asked, not sure where to sit.

"Nothing important," Gerard replied, lying on a black blanket. "Come here," he said, sat up and invited him to sit next to him. "We were about to sing our club anthem."

"We have an anthem?" Frank asked again, sitting next to Gerard. Mikey, sitting not far from him, leaned over to Frank’s ear and whispered, "Madison and Megan almost fought to sit next to my brother. You should be happy — you’re special."

Frank didn’t get it but went tomato red. If the girl with long blonde har sitting opposite him could kill by looking, he would’ve been dead.

"Of course we do," Gerard replied, oblivious to all the drama. "Our anthem is What If God Was One Of Us by Joan Osborn. Have you heard the song?"

"Yeah, but it was long ago…"

"Sing along."

He made a gesture, and Ray started playing. While he was playing the intro, Gerard handed to Frank a huge milkshake paper cup with a cap and a straw, but when Frank drank a bit, he couldn’t help grimacing.

"Ew, what is this? Tastes like vinegar."

"Pink wine from a store that’s near the campus," Gerard replied indifferently, took the cup and started drinking the wine.

"Is that even legal?!"

"I like you better when you keep quiet."

The intro part was over, and Gerard alone started singing the verse. The members of the club took each other by the hands and swayed to the music, and Gerard took Frank by the hand too. Mikey took his other hand.

Something in Gerard's voice made Iero shiver. It was stupid, he thought, not quite realising what was happening to him. He had heard his voice before! But it was different... When he sang, his voice was like liquid silver - warm, iridescent with all the notes, sensual to the point of impossibility. There was so much sadness in it that Frank's heart sank. He couldn’t make out a single word and simply looked ahead of him, staring at the ground and only tightening his grip on Gerard’s hand.

Iero only woke up when it was time for the chorus. 

"Yeah, yeah, God is great…"

He had to sing with everyone. The elder Way himself at this time was drinking wine through the straw, and then nodded to Frank and offered him the cup. Frank went for it and, releasing his hand, took the wine and drank it. The taste was disgusting, but the alcohol warmed his throat pleasantly, and Iero felt warmth spreading through his body.

"What if God was one of us? Just a slob guy, one of us…"

Several more cups were passed in their circle. Frank's head was spinning from the alcohol — he had never got drunk in his life — and from Gerard's voice. What was happening to him?

Frank hadn’t yet started studying, but was already smoking and drinking. His mom's worst nightmare was coming true. 

After the singing, they began to discuss some issues: when to organise the Bible readings, which church to go to together on Sundays... Frank did not listen, but simply looked around and sipped the wine. His temples pounded.

They sang a couple more songs and he took the guitar and played along with Ray. It didn't work out very well at first, but he got used to it and, it seemed, was playing okay.

The people around him seemed very pretty, the fire was brighter, and Gerard's voice even more beautiful, if that was even possible. Frank had fun, did not want to leave, and when he was finally led into his room by Ray, he let himself be led and just smiled, looking around and enjoying everything. 

«Go to sleep, Frankie,» Ray told him, helping him undress and go to bed, turned off the light and lay down on his bed in the opposite side of the room.

Iero fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow. He dreamt about Gerard sitting on the window sill in his room and smoking a cigarette.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning the alarm went off, and Frank woke up with a headache and a disgusting taste in his mouth. He felt like somebody had been drilling his temples. "Shit," he thought, pushed back the blanket and sat up. Ray wasn’t in the room.

In the next moment, he remembered why today was so important.

The start of classes.

Iero wanted to jump out of the bed but at the same second fell back on it - his headache got worse and he felt dizzy. Cursing himself for irresponsible behaviour last night, Frank suddenly noticed something on the windowsill out of the corner of his eye. He stood up carefully and, holding on to his temples, went to the window. 

A bottle of water and a note.

"Poor Frankie, doesn’t know how to drink. Don’t worry, we’ll teach you. Just take the magic pill. xoxo G"

Frank did as Gerard had written. He noted that Gerard even had brought water — without it, Frank would’ve had to go to the bathroom to drink tap water.

After five minutes of feverish preparations for the first university class in his life, Frank noticed that the headache was gone. He decided to thank Gerard later today. 

Frank wanted to put on what he had been wearing yesterday — his old Levi’s and a jacket with a white t-shirt under it, but this entire outfit now smelled of bonfire smoke and needed washing. He had to search for something else, and his choice was a black FOB tee, black jeans and a grey puff sleeveless vest. 

Having put his laptop in the backpack, Frank ran to the elevator and, reaching the ground floor, quickly paced towards the college building where his classes were supposed to start. It should be mentioned that there were 12 such buildings on campus because the university of Nebraska was one of the biggest universities in the US. The first class Frank was going to attend was American history.

On his way, he met Mikey who was standing where several paths crossed, and was looking at the map in his phone.

"The college building must be behind the library… Wish I knew where the library was."

Looking for the building was easier together (they didn’t feel like asking other students), and the two boys not only performed the task at hand successfully, but also made it on time for the class. Even though they entered the room 10 minutes before the lecture, it was almost full, and there were empty seats only in the front. Frank and Mikey sat in the first row a little bit to the left. Frank was excited, just as everyone there. Mikey took out his laptop and was tapping his fingers anxiously.

Frank took a battered second-hand textbook from his backpack. Why pay more when you can buy cheaper? He was lucky he had a scholarship, otherwise his mom would have to pay loans for the rest of her life, and that was something Frank didn’t want. All his childhood he watched his mom work so hard to look after him, sometimes she had to stay at work late.

Right at 9:01 AM, a middle-aged Indian in a red jacket entered the lecture room. He had a tie with little yellow ducks on it. And that was how Frank’s first ever college class began.

***

After classes, at about 4:30 PM, Frank and Mikey left the building. The weather was excellent: the sun had not yet set and was caressing the skin with its rays, a warm breeze ruffled his hair, and the trees still sported lush green foliage. 

Suddenly, someone someone came up from behind them and abruptly hugged Mikey and Frank by the neck with both arms, so hard so that at first they did not understand that they were being hugged and thought that someone was about to strangle them.

"Well, my brother and my new stepbrother from the band, how do you like the first day?"

"Gee, take it easy," Mikey cleared his throat, rubbing his throat. "Everything is fine. Wait, so you agreed to be the permanent vocalist in the band?"  
"Fuck yes! Don’t forget, today’s not only Friday, but also the school year start party!"

"I dunno…" Mikey said hesitantly. "I don’t feel like going to a party. What about you, Frankie?"

"Neither do I. I need to prepare for the pre-Columbian era seminar, read a lot of… Some stuff."

"Nerds. And you said you were my brothers!"

"Actually, it was you who said so," Frank replied. "By the way, isn’t drinking alcohol a sin?"

"Getting real drunk is a sin, and I’m perfectly sober even after an entire bottle of wine," Gerard retorted. "You can ask Ray if you don’t believe me."

"Oh I do believe you," Mikey said. "Wanna go to the pizza place with us? Frank says they make a great Hawaiian." 

Gerard lifted an eyebrow.

"Hawaiian pizza is an abomination. Fine, do what you want, Ray and I are going to buy alcohol," and Gerard turned on his heels and went away. Frank was looking at him walk until Mikey tugged at his sleeve.

***

The pizza was perfect, and Mikey loved every bit of it. Frank was glad he had finally found someone with similar taste, in fact, he was so happy as if it was him who made the pizza. After the dinner the boys brought home an entire pizza with broccoli. Back at the dorm, music was already playing.

"It’s not even 7 PM yet, and they are already having fun," Mikey complained. "As if they have nothing else to do."

In the Scorpio dorm building, Mikey and Frank had to go through the hall on the ground floor to get to the elevators, which meant squeezing through the dancing (and already a bit drunk) crowd of students. The «get to the elevator» operation was a success, the only misfortune that befell upon Iero was gin spilled on his sneaker.

Having finally reached Frank’s room, the boys decided to prepare for the pre-columbian era seminar together. Both had a scholarship, and nobody wanted to get grades lower than B+ even at the start of semester.

However, the atmosphere of fun was annoying "the nerds." The window was open, and the sound of music and laughter reached the seventh floor. Mikey and Frank felt overwhelmed and isolated from the rest of the world.

Chewing protein bars from the box under Iero's bed, they decided to split the responsibilities: Frank took notes reading the textbook, and Mikey looked through online sources for more information on the topic. Two hours passed as one, and after finishing their studies, they began to go about their personal business. 

"You’re playing really cool," Mikey said to Frank who was playing tunes from EXO, a Korean band, while Way himself was googling the chords for their songs. When they got a bit tired of that, they relaxed by discussing their first day of classes. Mikey fell asleep on Ray’s bed, while Frank, after sleeping for about two hours, was woken up right at midnight by some weird noise. 

The noise was made by a whole group of tipsy students who burst into the room. Laughter, loud conversations, clinking of bottles - the intruders sat down on the floor and began to discuss something.

"What's going on?" Frank asked, rubbing his eyes. Mikey didn't seem to care and continued to sleep, snoring a little.

"Oh, don't mind us," a familiar voice answered. Gerard. Among the students, Iero recognized Ray and the blond guy with a beard, whom he saw on the stage during the auditions and who must have been the drummer in the group. The rest of the guys seemed familiar to Frank - they were the members of the Christian Club whom he had seen around the fire last night. 

"We’ll play truth or dare," Gerard said. "Do you want to play with us?"

"Why here and now?" Frank moaned, dropping his head on the pillow. "Haven't you found a better place on the whole campus? We are actually sleeping."

"Frankie, there is a fire alarm in the halls, you can't smoke there, and it's cold outside, you know?" Way replied, lighting a cigarette.

Iero sighed and turned to the wall. Okay, let them play, he thought, it will be interesting to hear the truth Gerard has to say.

"So whose turn is it?" 

"Mine!" the girl with short pink hair suggested and twirled the bottle, which eventually pointed to Gerard. She took out a list of questions and read one aloud: "What’s your sexual orientation? Truth or Dare?"

Gerard grinned wryly and, without letting the lighted cigarette out of the corner of his mouth, replied, "Dare."  
The girl looked at the list again.

"Kiss someone in this room."

Frank, lying with his back to the players, was internally smiling - he wondered how Gerard would get out of this situation. Most probably, he would kiss one of those girls who were in the club and have had a crush on him for several years. Or he would just decide to leave the game.

After a long pause, Way, after taking a long sip of pink wine directly from the bottle passed among the members of the club, finally said:

"Oh, Kara, no, don't even hope," he grinned. "If I kiss anyone in this room, it will be Frankie. You don't mind, do you?" Gerard said, turning to Frank.

Hearing these words, Iero felt as if he had just been kicked in the stomach. Kiss him? Well, no, not him. Never. His chest felt too tight, it was hard to breathe, plus all this, he blushed. 

Frank sat up and pushed back the blanket.

"Ew. Not in this life."

Oh, how he wanted this phrase to sound decisive! Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Mikey was awake and watching the situation - he needed only popcorn. The members of the club did not seem at all surprised by the elder Way's decision and simply continued to drink this disgusting pink wine and chat. Kara, the girl who asked the question, was upset.

"Come on, it's just a game," and Gerard sat down on the bed next to him. "We did worse stuff in the second year."

"Kiss one of the girls. Why me?" Frank asked quietly, looking into his eyes.

"If I kiss a girl, I will be cheating on Lindsey. And kissing guys doesn’t count. Just close your eyes."

Iero didn’t have time to think when he felt Gerard’s warm lips on his lips and his palm on his hand. Closing his eyes, he decided to kiss back and opened his mouth to let Way's tongue in; at that moment, it was as if electricity pierced him. "What is going on?" Iero asked himself, dumbfounded. Being so close to Way, he could smell him, and it made his heart beat like a jackhammer. 

Gerard was the first to pull away. In his eyes, Frank read… fear? But why exactly fear?

He could not answer this question, and a few seconds later Gerard was already sitting with his friends again and continued the game.

"Are you a virgin? Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"Text your ex that you love her."

Laughter, clinking bottles, stupid jokes. The world has not turned upside down - it was as if nothing had happened. Life went on. Obviously, Frank thought, that stupid kiss meant so much more to him than it did to Gerard. Iero felt used. He took out his phone, put on his headphones, and played the new Fall Out Boy album. This music was soothing. He covered himself with the blanket and closed his eyes.

He could still feel Gerard's warm hand on his... Lips too, but he didn't want to think about it.


	5. Chapter 5

When Frank woke up the next morning, he instantly smelled cigarette smoke. Lifting his head from the pillow, he saw somebody on the window sill. Of course, it was Gerard, and he sure was smoking. Frank groaned and dropped his head back on the pillow.

"You’re not happy to see me?" Gerard asked quietly. There wasn’t a trace of his usual impudence in his voice, which surprised Frank.

"There’s been too much of you lately," Iero replied, still lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling.

The silence was suddenly broken by the voice of Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys:

"And it’s three in the morning, and I’m trying to change your mind…"

Frank reached over to the desk and took his phone - his mother was calling.

"Mom, I'll call you later, okay? Yes. Love you."

As he put his cell phone away, he noticed that Gerard was holding onto his temples.

"Shit," he swore. "Why so loud?" and, throwing a cigarette butt out the window, Way took the Sprite can standing next to him and took a couple of sips.

"Are you having a hangover?" Frank felt pity for him, remembering very well what it was like yesterday morning.

"Yeah."

"So take the magic pill then."

"I’ve run out of them."

"So go to the pharmacy."

Gerard gave Frank a look as if he what he had just said was obvious nonsense.

"They don’t make them anymore. That pill I left here yesterday was the last one," Way finally explained, examining his own hands. "So all I have left is Sprite. It doesn't help much, but it’s at least something."

Frank got out of bed.

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"I'll wait."

Taking a toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste and a towel, Iero went out into the hallway and walked towards the bathroom, where there were several sinks in a row and a large mirror above them. Some guy was brushing his teeth next to him. He tried desperately to catch Frank's eye - clearly a freshman who was eager to make friends. Iero would have spoken to him, but now his thoughts were occupied by one young man who was waiting for him in the room right now.

Back in 735, he saw that Gerard was still sitting on the windowsill and drinking Sprite.

"I need to change," Frank said without looking at him and not really talking to anyone in particular.

"Yeah, of course," and Way turned to the half-open window.

Iero took off his pajamas, and, staying in his boxers, pulled out jeans and a 30 Seconds To Mars t-shirt from the closet.

"You can turn around," he said after changing his clothes, and Gerard turned to him, his face tomato red.

"What's the matter?" Frank asked.

"Oh, is it 30STM? I love their early albums," Gerard nodded approvingly, changing the subject.

"Are you going to eat?" Iero asked him, putting the phone into the back pocket of his jeans.

"Yeah, sure," and when Frank went to the door, Gerard stopped him. 

"Wait."

"What?"

Gerard was still sitting on the windowsill.

"You... Did I hurt you yesterday? You seem weird today," he hesitated.

No, you're weird, Iero thought, but he didn't say anything out loud, just raised an eyebrow.

"Is everything alright? Did I hurt you yesterday? If so, I'm sorry," and Gerard looked at Frank with regret. Frank, standing at the door, looked directly at him, without breaking eye contact. Then Gerard looked away and, staring at the can in his hands as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, he added, "I drank too much yesterday and I don’t remember anything now."

Frank almost believed him.

"Everything is fine. Now let's go eat, or my stomach is going to digest itself."

***

Gerard gradually returned to his usual mood, and he led Frank somewhere across the campus.

"Where are we going?" Iero finally asked, breaking the silence.

"To the Sagittarius dorm. It's mostly for professors, researchers and very few students," Gerard replied, straightening his tie.

"So, as I understand it, we are going to the professors' cafeteria?"

'Right."

The building was small - it had only three floors, with the first one occupied by a canteen. The Sagittarius dorm was built of red bricks and had green inserts on the facade. To the right of the glass doors, there hung a bright image of a Sagittarius in red and black, the colors of the university.

"It's much more spacious inside than it looks," Gerard remarked, holding the door open for Frank.

"But... Are we allowed to come here?"

"Calm down. On Saturday mornings, almost no one is here."

Iero shrugged and, taking the tray, followed Gerard.

"Hi, Dolores," Gerard smiled dazzlingly at the little woman behind the counter and said something in Spanish — obviously a compliment, as she smoothed her hair and waved her arms with a laugh. "Two croque madames, please," Way said. Frank had no idea what it was or if it was edible at all.

"Is this a French cuisine?" he whispered and received a radiant smile in return.

"This thing is cooked only here. If you try it, you'll thank me for the rest of your life."

As it turned out, a croque madame was a hot sandwich with cheese and ham inside and a fried egg on top. Frank had never tried it and didn't know how to eat it.

"How do you eat it, should I take it in my hands?" He asked, already sitting at the table.

"No, you eat it with a knife and a fork. I'll bring them in a sec." A little later, as he passed the knife to Iero, their fingers touched, and Frank suddenly felt weird - as if a lightning had struck in his stomach. He almost screamed and prayed to all the gods that Way didn’t not notice. Gerard was cutting his croque madame.

***

"You know, it was really delicious," Frank smiled as they left the canteen together. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, Frankie," and Gerard patted his back. "Where do we go now?"

The sun was shining merrily in the sky, birds were singing, the wind was rustling in the green foliage - it seemed to Iero that it was mid-summer, but not the beginning of September.

"I've no idea."

"I suggest we go to the auditorium and see what Ray’s been doing there since morning."

***

"My brother Toro, how are you?" said Gerard, walking up to Ray, and ruffled his curly hair. Ray looked up from the guitar and smiled happily.

"Fine, we are writing the drum part. It's good that you came, check out what I came up with."

They were sitting in a small room behind the stage of the auditorium — it was slightly bigger than Ray and Frank’s room in the Scorpio dorm. The only furniture was a couple of chairs and an old battered sofa that had seen multiple generations of students. A drum kit, a pair of electric and acoustic guitars and a bass - all the necessary instruments were also present. Sitting at the drums was the bearded blond guy Frank had seen at the audition.

Ray began to play a melody, and Iero liked it so much that he decided to repeat it immediately. He picked up the electric guitar - it was already connected to the amplifier - and, carefully touching the strings, began playing.

And so, without any warm-up exercises, Gerard began to sing. He only smoked and drank coffee with Frank at the canteen, but his voice still sounded perfect. Frank, who immediately stopped playing, stared at the floor again, but after a few seconds, he gathered his courage and looked at him. Way was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed, a lit cigarette in his left hand.

"I'd end my days with you in a hale of bullets…"

Frank's heart skipped a beat, and he began to realise why. He hoped Gerard hadn't noticed.

Suddenly Gerard stopped singing and, turning to Ray, asked:

"So, with the verse it’s clear, what’s next?"

"Listen," and now it was Ray who sang and played. The drums joined. The sound seemed so fresh, new, and mesmerizing to Frank that he realised that he was a fan of the band he was a member of. Iero smiled happily at his thoughts.

"Oh, I see Frankie likes it," Gerard smiled, blowing smoke through his nose. "Me too. Ray, you are, as always, amazing. I love you."

At this, Ray laughed loudly.

"And me? Do I deserve your love?" the blond guy joked.

"Oh, Frankie, this is Bob, our drummer," Ray introduced him.

"Nice to meet you," Bob said, twirling drumsticks in his hands.

"Is this your bomb for the fall ball?" Frank asked.

"Yeah," Gerard nodded, blowing smoke rings. "Really, it turned out great. You now have to write a part for the rhythm guitar."

Frank hugged his guitar.

"I have never written music," he admitted. "I only played covers."

"I never wrote poetry until college," Gerard told him, holding a cigarette in the corner of his mouth and filing his nails. Does he carry a nail file with him? Frank thought. "And Ray did not write music until high school. Everything happens for the first time, you just need to try."

"I'm ready. I will."

"Then come here every day after classes, at least for an hour. There is still a month before the autumn ball, you will have time to write more than one guitar part," Ray smiled at him encouragingly.

This day did not start well for Frank, but now he felt with his guts that everything was getting better and better.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, some noise woke Frank up. Lifting his head from the pillow, he saw that his closet was open and someone was busy rummaging through it. Of course, Gerard.

“You again,” Iero muttered. "Why do I see you every morning?"

"Get dressed," and a white shirt landed right into Frank's face.

"Where? Did you even look at the clock? It's Sunday. And stop throwing clothes at me!"

"We're going to church. You signed up for the Christian Club yourself, so let's go." Gerard threw his jacket at him.

Frank rolled his eyes, but still got out of bed. Taking a towel and toothpaste, he glanced at Gerard. Way, as usual, was fully dressed — white shirt, tie, gray thin coat, but there was something strange in his movements. Was he... nervous? He was pacing around the room with his hands in his pockets, and there was a crease between his eyebrows.

"Are you all right?" Frank asked.

"Yes, everything is fine," he muttered, took two wide steps towards the window and jumped onto the windowsill. "What?"

Iero shrugged.

"You're kind of strange today. However, as usual," and he went to brush his teeth.

When Frank returned to the room, Gerard was sitting on the windowsill, hugging his knees, and smoking.

"Where is Ray?"

"Unlike some lazy butts, he got dressed much earlier and is waiting with our entire club in the parking lot."

"So why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

Gerard was unable to answer immediately.

“It's just… you were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to wake you up."

“Do you mean you were standing there and staring at me like Edward Cullen while I was asleep?” Frank replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. Way was apparently amused by this banter, unlike Iero. Of course, he wanted to believe that Gerard had come here to wake him up personally for special reasons, but he didn't want to think about it, because such thoughts echoed with a dull pain in his chest.

"Get dressed. I will turn away, don't worry."

Frank glanced at the clothes spread out on his unmade bed. Light blue jacket, gray trousers, white shirt and tie with blue and red stripes. Pretty formal, but isn't that how you dress for church?

“You know, I've never been to church. Not any kind of temple at all," Frank confessed, getting dressed, and came up to the mirror on the closet door, unsuccessfully trying to tie his tie. He looked at Gerard in the mirror. Way got tired of watching Iero messing around and wasting precious time, so he, taking a cigarette to the corner of his mouth, jumped from the windowsill to the floor.

"Didn't they teach you how to tie a tie?"

"Actually, no."

“This is the first thing a father should teach his son."

“Well it's a shame then, because my father left when I was nine."

Realizing that he had said something not very kind, Gerard made big eyes and whispered apologetically, "Sorry. Here, I'll help you."

Way threw the cigarette out the window and walked up to Frank.

"Look, this end here, make a loop, wide end here, and voila! You look gorgeous."

"Th-thanks."

Gerard carefully tightened his tie, asked if it was too tight, and, receiving a negative answer, took a step back to admire his work. Then he reached out and touched Frank's chest - to smooth the tie, that's all, but for Frank, every touch was like an electric shock.

"Why are you so red?" Way asked.

"Fuck off," Iero waved it off and opened the closet to look for black shoes. He wasn't going to go to church in a formal suit and sneakers, honestly.

***

Several cars and even a white graffiti-covered van were parked in the university parking lot. The cars were packed with members of the Christian Club - Frank recognized their faces - in one of the cars, there were four people in the back seat.

"It's Bob's van. I'll go with Ray in his green Ford, you too. We have a VIP car, just for the members of our band, Chemistry,” Gerard explained, walking up to the green Ford and opening the door for Frank.

Mikey was sitting shotgun. He stuck his head out of the open car window and said, "I am not a band member, but I am going with you, all because you love me, right, brother?"

Gerard pulled Mikey's beanie on his face and then climbed into the car to sit next to Frank.

"Enough chatting, we have to go. Mass in fifteen minutes!"

Ray started the engine, and the students drove straight to the Church of the Sacred Heart, which was located on the outskirts of Omaha, Nebraska.

***

“You said you’ve never been to church. Why?" Gerard asked, flicking cigarette ash out the window. He and Frank were in the back seat, Mikey was riding shotgun, and Ray was driving.

"I was raised by my mother and grandfather. They were not religious and believed that imposing religion on a child is wrong."

Gerard chuckled.

"They made a mistake."

"Why?" Frank looked him in the eye.

"When you grow up, you need to believe in something, you need some kind of foundation, for example, the very ten commandments from the Old Testament. I hate the Old Testament and the only thing that I accept from there is those ten commandments. Love thy neighbor, do not kill, do not steal, and so on."

"These are universal values," Frank remarked, looking out the window and observing how the city that would become his home for the next four years was waking up slowly. "If I were a Muslim, I would follow them just like you."

Gerard laughed.

“Frankie, thank God for the fact that you were born to a white family of average Americans. Because, believe me, Islam is evil."

"What makes you think so?"

"Have you read the Koran?"

"Nah."

"Read about Sharia and Jihadism when you have time. Oh, here we are," and Way threw a cigarette butt out the window of the car.

As Ray parked his green Ford, Gerard leaned over to Frank and, touching his shoulder, whispered to his ear:

"If you don't know how to behave in church, just repeat after me. Everything will be fine, trust me."

Feeling his hot breath on his face, it seemed to Frank that he was about to melt. So when Ray finished parking, he literally jumped out of the car into the fresh air, away from the cigarette smoke and the scent of lavender soap - that was how Gerard smelled.

The Church of the Sacred Heart turned out to be a relatively small white building in the Gothic style with a turret to the left of the entrance and a large stained glass window on the facade. The parking lot was packed. The members of the Christian Club climbed out of their cars and headed in uneven lines towards the open double wooden doors.

In order not to look stupid, Frank decided to do everything that Gerard did. Entering the church, he, like everyone entering, crossed himself and raised his eyes to the sky, and then went to the left, to a table on which there lay stacks of small books and a cork board with numbers on it.

“The numbers are the pages you need, and the books are for everyone to sing,” Gerard explained as he passed a small book to Frank.

Frank was struck by the aroma of burning incense - a priest with a censer walked around the church, between the pews. Of course, Iero heard what a "censer" was, but this was the first time he encountered its smell. It was calming.

Finally, walking through the main hall, Frank involuntarily admired the sunlight falling through the large stained-glass windows on the left and right. The light walls and light floor tiles made the small church seem much more spacious. Ahead, to the left of the altar, stood a large organ, gleaming with iridescent metal pipes.

Frank did not notice at all that for almost a minute he had been standing in the aisle and with an open mouth was looking around until Gerard pulled him by the sleeve. Frank followed him, Mikey, and Ray to the altar and knelt down like everyone else.

The Christian Club was sitting on the three front rows of pews. Mass began. Organ music sounded and the rustle of pages was heard. Frank, seated to Gerard's right, was looking helplessly through the songbook until Way pulled the book out of his hands and opened it in the right place.

“Thanks,” Frank whispered. Gerard smiled wryly at him. The sun seemed brighter every time he smiled.

They all sang. At first, in English, and Frank honestly tried to sing, like everyone else, but then the priest switched to Latin, and all he could do was just look around and enjoy the music.

At some point, about twenty people got up and lined up by the altar on their knees and with their arms crossed on their chests. The priest put something white and round in each of their mouths, and Gerard explained that it was the Eucharist.

The mass did not last long, and when it finally came to an end, Gerard got up and strode towards a small booth with carved doors, leaving Frank in Ray's care.

"Where is he going?"

"To confess the sins. Let's go," and Ray beckoned him to the exit.

It was about eleven in the morning, but the sun was already hot, like in the middle of summer. Mikey and Ray were leaning against the car - it was hot inside even with the windows open, and there was no air conditioning - and they were listening to Frank talk about his impressions, smiling.

More than half an hour passed before Gerard, hands in his pockets, slowly walked out of the church. The guys from the Christian Club have already left.

"Why did it take you so long to confess? Have you killed someone?" Frank decided to joke, but Way didn't even deign to answer him, just got into the car and said, "Let's go." Mikey, noticing this, just waved his hand and whispered to Frank: "Never mind."

Gerard was silent all the way to campus.

***

Frank spent the whole day at the backstage room learning Chemistry songs and trying to come up with an extra guitar part for their new "hit" that they would play at the fall ball, but nothing worked, and Ray suggested that he put his guitar down and do something else.

When he and Mikey came to room 735 to play the console, they saw a whole bunch of colored papers on Frank's bed. There was a note nearby.

“Educate yourself, my young padawan. xoxo G”, Frank read and took the first bright leaflet that came across. "Oh, these are booklets from the church. But how did Gerard get in here?" Frank wondered. "The door was locked."

"Relax, my brother is like that, he loves secrets and surprises. I wouldn't be shocked if he stole the keys from the dorm manager and now has access to all rooms."

Frank got so tired of Gerard that he had a headache. He put the pile of church booklets on his table, and he and Mikey sat on the bed, taking turns playing with Mikey's portable console.

Iero did not remember falling asleep. He dreamed of the smell of incense and Gerard as a priest.


	7. Chapter 7

Studying fascinated Frank. He liked to attend classes on the history of the English language and poetry, and he thanked the Universe for the fact that at the university, you can choose almost any subjects that interest you. So he even enjoyed doing his homework, after which he could go to the room behind the stage to play with the Chemistry guys and write guitar parts.

Having finished a short essay on philosophy - it was the second week of school - at half past ten in the evening, he walked quickly to the auditorium. It was dark and a cold, unfriendly wind was blowing - this year in Nebraska, there was a sharp transition from summer to autumn.

Despite the chilly evening, many students were walking around the campus. The windows of the huge library were burning brightly. Someone told him that there were underground levels in it, and he remembered this fact, not knowing why.

Iero liked to study, and even lack of sleep did not interfere with enjoying university life.

Buttoning up his denim jacket with the Fall Out Boy logo on his back, Frank ran up the steps of the auditorium - the glass doors were always open - walked silently down the hall with the university logo, turned left near the doors to the main hall and almost ran down the hallway (there was a melody in his head and he was eager to write it down) to get to the room with the Chemistry sticker as quickly as possible.

There was no one in the room - not even the light was on. Ray must be busy in the library and Mikey was already asleep.

Fumbling for the switch, Frank turned on the light and, to his surprise, found a lonely figure on the couch.

“Well hello,” Gerard said, blowing smoke through his nose.

"Why are you sitting here alone?"

"I am writing the lyrics."

"In the dark?"

"The right atmosphere is important. Don't bother me, my muse is here."

Frank almost rolled his eyes and, throwing his jacket onto the nearest chair (he got hot from running), took a guitar - it was necessary to write down the sequence of notes so as not to forget.

A few seconds later, he was already sitting on the opposite edge of the sofa from Gerard, with an old blue electric guitar in his hands and playing, from time to time scribbling something with a pencil in a notebook.

He got completely carried away and only remembered Gerard when the melody was finally put down. Leaning back on the back of the sofa, satisfied with himself, Frank glanced at him briefly and noticed that Gerard was sitting without moving, with another cigarette between his fingers, and openly staring at Iero.

"What?"

“Nothing,” Gerard shrugged and took a drag. "I just figured the text, let's set it to music."

"Fine."

He took a notebook out of his pocket and began to hum something softly. Frank did not know what to do, and just sat and silently looked at him, secretly enjoying the sound of his voice. It seemed that in order to get a daily dose of endorphin, Frank just needed to hear Gerard's voice.

At one point, Way stopped humming.

"Why aren't you playing?"

"What should I play?" Iero did not understand.

"Ray never asks stupid questions."

"I'm not Ray."

“Yeah, I figured,” Gerard said, and put his cigarette in the ashtray on the arm of the sofa. “Okay,” he gave up. “Play something like that,” and began humming, “Na-na-na na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na.

Frank did not get it - the task seemed crazy.

"Maybe you'd better take a guitar and show me?" He suggested. “I'm not sure I can repeat your na-na-na.”

Gerard rolled his eyes.

"No, you are our guitarist, so go ahead and play."

There was nothing else to do. Frank began playing in a rhythm that roughly suited Way's "na-na-na", and at some point his vocalist nodded his head approvingly.

"So, play this rhythm, only now not here, but between these two dots," and Gerard pointed to a certain place on the guitar fretboard.

Frank was amused - he began to suspect that Gerard had absolutely no idea how to play the guitar.

“These dots represent frets,” he explained to Way. "You see, this is the third fret, this is the fifth, seventh and so on."

Gerard took out a lighter and a cigarette, clearly intending to smoke again.

"Yeah, great, but I don't care. You play, I sing, what's not clear here?"

"Okay."

After a few minutes of trying to play the right tune, Frank gave up.

"Listen, can you write the melody with Ray? And I will write the second part afterwards."

“Okay,” Gerard said, putting his feet up on the coffee table by the sofa. "Play something for me."

Frank was surprised, but firmly decided to play something personal. So he chose Taylor Swift's "Cardigan", a track that he learned a couple of days ago. But since the lyrics of this song were quite long, he remembered only the third verse, and he began to play it.

"But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss  
I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs  
The smell of smoke would hang around this long  
'Cause I knew everything when I was young..."

He sang with his eyes closed and putting his soul into every note, and, ending with the chorus, turned his head to look at Gerard, and, to his surprise, noticed that he had moved closer - now their knees were touching: old jeans and formal trousers, they were separated by just two layers - and his face was now only a few inches from Iero's.

“Frankie,” Gerard whispered softly, looking into his eyes and leaning his forehead against his. He slowly raised his hand to his face and, without breaking eye contact, gently touched Frank's cheekbones with his knuckles. Frank, following his emotions and forgetting about the whole world because he felt Gerard's breath on his skin, closed his eyes and almost kissed him, but Gerard, taking back his hand, quickly pecked Iero on the lips and pulled away.

"We should go, Frankie," and patting his knee, Gerard got up from the sofa and stretched.

Frank, staring at the floor, remained on the sofa with the guitar in his hands and a pick in his fingers. His face was burning, and his heart was beating in an uneven rhythm.

"Are you going?" Gerard asked uncertainly, already at the door. Iero put down his guitar and hid his face in his hands. He urgently needed to get somewhere far away from here, as far from this room as possible, and forget the incredible feeling of Gerard's dizzyingly soft lips on Frank's chapped lips.

"Frankie," Way said quietly, but it was more like a whisper. "Come on, I'll walk you to your room."

Iero got up from the sofa, picked up his jacket that had fallen to the floor from the chair, and quickly left the room. Gerard, turning off the light and slamming the door, ran after him.

"Frankie, don't pout. What can I do for you to forgive me?" Way asked, almost running after him, panting.

"You need to smoke less."

"I'm serious."

Frank stopped. He wanted to say something like “you don't give a fuck about all my feelings for you,” but he wondered, what feelings? They have known each other for less than three weeks. Yes, Frank was attracted to him, and every time he thought of Gerard, his heart skipped a beat, but ... If Way doesn't care, neither does he.

“Nothing,” he said. "Just leave me alone."

Frank walked away, and Gerard remained standing under the lamp post, his hands in the pockets of his thin coat.

***

Iero even thought about leaving the band, but decided that it would be too stupid. Music is more important. Yes, if you look closely, there is no problem. He only kissed him twice, but does that mean anything in the twenty-first century? Actually, Frank himself did not understand why he felt that way, and he was a little ashamed of his own behavior.

After another day of classes, returning to his room number 735, he noticed a box on his desk.

"What's on the desk?" he asked Ray as he took off his sneakers at the door. Ray himself was sitting on his bed and typing something on his laptop.

“I don’t know, when I came here about an hour ago, it was already here."

Frank crossed the room in three steps and got to his desk. A cardboard box, no stickers. He opened it.

There were many red and white cans of Coca-Cola inside, with a note on top.

“I heard you like cherry cola. And I like you. xoxo G".

Frank could not help smiling. Hiding the note in one of the books on the desk, he tossed a can onto Ray's bed.

"Here, take it."  
“Thank you,” Ray said, putting down his laptop and taking the can in his hand. "Who's so generous?"

"Gerard."

“He could do it,” Ray chuckled.

"When you came, the door was closed, right?"

"Well, yes."

"So how did he get in?" Frank frowned.

"I have no idea. I've known him for three years, and Gee still surprises me."

"Yeah."

Iero was ashamed. Because of some stupid kiss, he made Gerard buy and carry here a huge box of cola. So Frank was determined to apologize to him.

He asked Ray for Gerard's phone number, but he said it was useless to call - Way's phone was almost always turned off. So he decided to wait until he came to 735 to smoke.

Exactly at midnight, the door of the room opened slightly, and Gerard himself looked inside. Seeing that Frank was awake, he was about to close the door and leave, but Frank quietly called him, "Don't go. We need to talk."

Gerard, biting his lip, entered the room with his hands behind his back. Ray was already asleep, snoring lightly.

"Yes?"

"Sit down."

And he sat down on the bed next to Frank, who was already in his pajamas and reading a book.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I don't know why I got mad at you, but I'm not anymore."

Gerard's eyes widened.

"Really?"

"Yes."

“So… We’re not kissing anymore?” Gerard asked, looking down. Frank blushed.

“I didn't say that."

Way smiled happily, and Iero couldn't help but smile back.

"It's just..." Gerard said, "It's so hard to be faithful to your girlfriend when there's such a... Such a cute guy."

Frank looked at Gerard, shocked. Gerard, red as a tomato, looked him right in the eye.

"Do you have a cigarette?" Iero asked, swallowing nervously.

"Anything for you, Frankie."


	8. Chapter 8

"I don’t get a damn thing," Gerard cursed and threw the textbook across the room, almost hitting Ray, who was sitting with his laptop on his bed and typing something intently.

"Gee, be careful. I'm organizing a festival here, by the way."

"Sorry."

Frank, sitting on his bed next to Gerard and doing his homework on English grammar, glanced at him.

"Can I help you?"

"If you somehow miraculously understand sociology, then yes, please," he sighed.

"I wanted to take sociology in my second year. I like it, it’s an interesting subject, I think I can help you," Iero replied, serious.

Way was shocked.

"Seriously? Or are you kidding?"

"I had a semester of it in high school."

Frank climbed from the bed to the floor, trying not to touch Gerard, and accidentally stepped on Mikey, who was lying on the floor with a bass guitar and practicing Nirvana's Come As You Are.

"Hey, don't walk on me. I'm your future bassist, actually."

"I thought you were a tambourine player," Ray joked.

"Laugh all you want, I'll give you all a head start."

The fact is, there was no permanent bassist in the Chemistry band. Eric had played there last year, but the position was vacant because he transferred from the Omaha University to New York.

Frank began searching through the closet for a box of notebooks.

"Found it!"

"Ray, please explain, can we play at this urgent festival?" Gerard asked, taking a cigarette from the pack.

"The dean of the Faculty of Music asked me to organize a festival - only first and second year students will perform there during the day, and the evening is for already existing bands. We were allowed to be the closing act."

"Stupid freshmen," Way said and lit a cigarette.

"Hey!" Mikey and Frank said in unison. "You were one," added Mikey, offended.

"Fair enough," Gerard shrugged, breathing smoke through his nose.

Frank, with a notebook in his hands, flopped back onto the bed.

"When exactly do you need help with sociology?"

"Next week there will be a test. Not that it affects the final grade much, but I don't get anything at all," Way sighed. "And this is just an introduction to sociology. Ray, throw the textbook back to me."

Ray, still keeping his eyes on the laptop monitor, threw the book across the room and, oddly enough, it fell right into Gerard’s hands.

"Oh, is this edited by Rogers? I read it. So, let’s study for the test this weekend, okay? I’m pretty busy now."

"No problem."

"Ray, what do we have to do to perform at your festival?" Frank asked.

"I’m actually writing an email to Bob, who is working on the university website. There will be some sort of a poll, where we will count the votes and thus make up a schedule. The more votes you get, the later you will perform."

It dawned on Frank.

"Mikey, let's play together. I would like to play You Are My Sunshine, can you play with me? But there is less than a week left…"

Mikey jumped to his feet with joy, nearly hitting Gerard with the bass guitar.

"Frankie! Of course! At least someone believes in me!" exclaimed the younger Way and, putting aside the bass, reached for Iero and kissed him on both cheeks. Iero blushed. "I will learn the song and we will definitely rock! We will collect the most votes and become the headliners of the festival!"

***

"Seriously? Performing at 11 am?" Mikey was surprised, to say the least. "Are you sure the voting was fair?"

Ray sighed.

"You guys only got two votes — mine and Gerard’s."

"Can't you somehow promote us? We're playing in Chemistry."

"Mikey, Frank is a newbie, and you, well, have not yet proven that you can become our bassist."

"Everyone will be still sleeping while we play," Mikey groaned. "Well, okay. We’ll still do our best, right, Frankie?"

"Sure!"

***

Mikey and Frank were practising for three days straight, quickly doing the homework and then running to the room backstage in the evening hours. As Frank had not yet learnt all the songs that ended up in the Chemistry’s setlist, it was decided that he will play with the band only 3 songs which he knew more or less well. 

That Friday, the day before the festival, Frank had a practice with Chemistry till 9 pm. It was half past nine now, and the band had already left. Frank was tired and wanted to go to bed early, when suddenly, Mikey appeared in the doorway of the room behind the stage, eager to practice. 

"Sorry I’m so late, but I just did all the homework for Monday, so you can copy it! Let’s play one last time, okay?" 

One last time sounded okay, so Frank took his blue electric guitar and smiled at Mikey, who was plugging in his black bass.

Mikey had learned the song in just three days and now was playing really well - you could see that playing a musical instrument was new to him, but to those who didn’t belong to the world of music, he managed to look almost like a professional. 

When the song ended, Frank was beaming with pride for his brother-in-band.

"Mikes, that was awesome. We’ll rock everyone’s socks tomorrow for sure!"

"Yay! Okay, now let’s go to bed, you look like you haven’t slept for two days straight."

When Frank reached his bed in room 735, he fell asleep almost instantly but woke up in the middle of the night.

"Hello," there was somebody on the window sill. Gerard. "Did I wake you up?"

"No," Frank said and sat up. "I had a… A bad dream."

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"Yeah, a bit."

Now that Frank thought about tomorrow and realised that he was going to play in front of a crowd… He was nervous, he definitely was.

"Shit."

Gerard jumped off the window sill and came up to Frank. He sat on his bed and took his hand, which made Frank’s heart race.

"You should know that I love the way you play."

Gerard lifted Frank’s hand to his face and quickly kissed it. Frank went red.

"There’s nothing to worry about. You were meant to be in Chemistry. I could list 28 reasons why I want you in our band. You’re cute, that’s the first one, but you already know about it."

Seeing that his words made Frank smile, Gerard went on with the list.

"Your backing vocals are perfect. And the way your fingers move over the strings is so…"

Gerard’s cheeks went pink.

"So what?" Frank asked. He felt dizzy, thinking he was still dreaming of Gerard, again.

"Sexy," Way whispered and leaned in, definitely going for a kiss. A dream, huh? 

His lips felt more than real. His taste, his tongue, his hand touching Frank’s jaw…

Frank could list more than 99 reasons why he wanted Gerard, and number one was Way being the best kisser. Not that Frank had a lot to compare with, but still.

"You’re a thief," Frank said, pulling away. 

"What? Why?" Gerard asked, taking Frank by the chin.

"You stole my first kiss."

Way smiled.

And then my heart. But Frank never said it.


	9. Chapter 9

That night, after Gerard left, Frank didn’t sleep till 5 in the morning and was woken up by Ray at 7 am.

"Come on, Frankie! It’s time to rock!"

Iero felt broken but got up nevertheless and went to brush his teeth. That day, he had to take the stage twice - first with Mikey in the morning, second with Chemistry in the evening. 

Right at the center of the big lawn, there already was a stage - it was about 3 feet high. First of all, they had to bring and plug in all the instruments. Ray was orchestrating the guys from the rock club walking around with instruments, amps, pedals and heaps of various cables and cords. Everyone around was busy and there was nothing for Frank to do. He looked around and saw somebody sitting on the familiar black blanket on the grass. Gerard.

"What are you doing here? You could sleep in," Frank said.

"There are three things you could watch forever, fire, water, and other people working."

Frank had nothing else to do, so he sat on the blanket next to Gerard, who was drinking something from a big paper cup.

"Pink wine again? Isn’t it too early for shit like that?"

"God no, it’s Throat Coat. You’re a guitarist, you take care of your guitar, and I take care of my voice. It helps, wanna try?"

"Nah, I’m fine." Frank shifted closer to Gerard and put his head on Gerard’s shoulder. 

Suddenly, somebody behind them cried, "Gee!"

Gerard jumped to his feet and almost spilled his Throat Coat on Frank.

"Lindsey!"

The next moment, he was making out with a black-haired girl in a plaid skirt and a red jacket.

When the make-out session finally ended (Frank could swear it lasted an entire minute), the girl asked, "Will you introduce me to your friend?" 

Frank felt like he was kicked in the stomach. Seeing Gerard kiss that girl… It felt so right. They looked so great together. Like a happy couple.

"Frankie, this is my one true love, Lindsey Ann! Linds, this is Frankie, our new guitarist."

"Hi," Frank said drowsily.

The sun was blinding him, so he had to squint. That girl was really pretty. Frank couldn’t help but compare himself with her - he was no match to her.

"I read about the festival on the university website and wanted to surprise you!" she exclaimed happily.

"Babe, you flew all the way from New York to Omaha? You never cease to amaze me," Gerard replied, and they started making out again.

Frank turned away and hugged his knees. 

"Do you have a place to stay?" Gerard asked when they stopped kissing.

"Yeah, I’m staying at this small hotel that right across the road from the campus," Lindsey replied. "I’m so happy to see you, sweetie, this month felt like an eternity." 

"You must be hungry," Gerard said, took her hand and led her to the Scorpio dorm’s canteen, taking one last look at Frank.

Frank closed his eyes. He felt dizzy. He sat there for a few minutes when Mikey who was carrying an amp for his bass, stopped by.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I’ll be fine," Frank replied and got up. He had to busy himself with something to stop thinking about a certain young man. 

"Do you need help?"

"Yeah, we need to tune the guitars and my bass, and I’ve no idea how to do that, so your help will be much appreciated."

"Great, let’s go."

***

Frank and Mikey thought there would be hardly anyone at 11 am to see them play, but to their surprise, there were more than enough people around. They were mostly sitting right on the lawn, on blankets or without them.

"See - everything’s gonna be super duper!" Mikey tried to cheer Frank up. They were standing on the stage together, Frank just finished tuning his guitar, and it was 11 am - time for them to play. To Frank's surprise, he didn't feel as nervous as the night before - it felt like he was performing just for friends, which was partly true, because among the people watching him were his classmates and others, whom he befriended over the last month.

"Um, my name is Frank Iero, and this is Mikey Way, we’re freshmen and are going to play a cover, You Are My Sunshine".

The people cheered, and Frank saw that Gerard and Lindsey were among them, too. Gerard had his head in Lindsey’s lap, and she was playing with his hair. Frank couldn’t explain what he felt. It was not jealousy; just sadness. He felt light pain, as though butterflies in his stomach started dying.

The entire September, he had played the guitar so much as he had never before, so now he didn’t have to look at his fingers and the fretboard - his fingers moved without him looking.

Frank started the intro and Mikey joined him, carefully playing each note. There were no less that 50 people, but all Frank could see was Gerard. He didn’t even look at the stage, he was talking to Lindsey.

Frank started singing and closed his eyes. This way, he didn’t have to see his favourite person not paying attention to him. 

Mikey played so well, Frank couldn’t have asked for a better partner for this song. 

"But if you leave me and love another, you’ll regret it all one day…"

He had to see Gerard, so he opened his eyes, just for a second. Gerard was sitting now, his eyes glued to Frank. 

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray…"

Iero put his entire soul in every word he sang. This song was a letter to Gerard, a way to express how he felt about him, what he meant for him. 

When the song ended, Frank opened his eyes and saw Gerard standing up and clapping and urging others to do the same. 

"Bro, we did it!" Mikey said gleefully and hugged Frank and ruffled his hair. Iero was smiling now because it seemed that his first-ever appearance on stage was a success - people cheered and clapped.

"Th-thanks," he awkwardly said into the microphone, put the guitar on the stand, and quickly left the stage, while Mikey stayed and started talking into the mic. 

"This guy is the new Chemistry guitarist, you’ll see him tonight again! Are you excited?"

The people cheered. Gerard was laughing. 

"‘Kay, I’m out," and Mikey waved his hand and followed Frank. Some girl with an acoustic guitar took the stage after them. 

Ray met them behind the stage. 

"Well done!" he said, hugging them both. Frank for a second forgot about his sadness, but was reminded of it when his eye caught the sight of Gerard kissing his girlfriend (again!). He felt dull pain in his chest. 

"I dunno about you, but man, I’m hungry! I haven’t eaten a thing, and it’s past 11 am now," Mikey said, very well seeing Frank’s sorrowful eyes and trying to distract him. "I’m dreaming of a huge Hawaiian pizza just for the two of us, whatcha think?"

Frank finally turned away from Gerard and smiled at Mikey. 

"So romantic. Sounds great," he replied, and they went to the pizza place together.

***

They ate so much it was hard to breathe. "At least my stomach has what it wanted," Frank thought. They spent more than an hour at the pizzeria, so when they came to the lawn again, the sun was at its peak, and so was the festival. The entire lawn was filled people sitting on the grass, and there literally was no empty spot, so Mikey and Frank sat somewhat far from the stage, but they could still hear the music well. There was a girl with a ukulele doing a cover of The Judge by Twenty One Pilots, and Frank loved it. He hadn’t heard the song before, so he took out his phone and added the track to his music library.

It was nice. Frank almost forgot about Gerard, when a familiar voice behind them called, "Where have you two been? I couldn’t even congratulate you on your first onstage performance!"

Of course it was Gerard, and he was not alone - next to him stood Lindsey. They sat next to Mikey and Frank, but, as Lindsey complained that it was a little too hot, Gerard went to bring some drinks.

"Do you have an instagram?" Lindsey asked after Gerard left.

"Yeah," Mikey and Frank replied in unison.

"Can I follow you guys? It’s just I filmed like half of your performance, you can repost it on your page if you want."

They exchanged their usernames, and Frank took out his phone. He started flipping through Lindsey’s account. She had so many pictures with Gerard - at a theme park, at the theatre, cinema, on a hike. They had so many memories together, and Frank thought that he was nothing compared to Lindsey in Gerard’s life. Common memories, that’s what keeps couples together. Frank sighed. He has to take Gerard off his mind. And heart.

"Thanks for the video," Frank said to Lindsey after watching the video of his and Mikey’s performance.

"No problem," she replied. "I’ll film Chemistry tonight, too."

After a short break, a guy and a girl took the stage and started playing Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out For A Hero. Frank had always loved the song and even tapped his foot to the beat.

"Gerard is so fond of you, Frankie" Lindsey said, distracting him from what was going on on stage. "If you were a girl, I would’ve been worried that I might have a rival, but you’re boy, so it’s fine," she smiled.

Mikey and Frank exchanged a look. 

"Yeah, I guess so," Frank replied, hesitantly.

A minute later, Gerard came with four bottles of cold cherry cola.

"You must’ve forgotten, baby, I prefer vanilla," Lindsey pouted .

"Oops, sorry, hun," Gerard said, kissing her on the cheek.

Frank sighed. 

"You know, guys, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go to my room and sleep for like two hours, I didn’t sleep at all tonight. Sorry," Frank said and got up. It was 50% truth - yes, he was sleepy, but also, he couldn’t bear sitting there and watching this happy couple. It was tooth-rotting sweet.

"Call me when you wake up," Mikey said.

"Sure."

When Frank finally reached his bed in room 735 and set an alarm clock, he fell asleep instantly. He didn’t dream about anything in particular, and that was just what he needed after all.


	10. Chapter 10

Frank woke up three hours later happy and well rested. He felt like every damn cell in his body was ready to take the stage and play his favourite music with his favourite people. 

As promised, he called Mikey. 

"Hey Mikes, I’m up."

There was loud music playing in the background.

"Yo, could you please bring some food? Two burgers, we’re hungry as heck, but if I leave, somebody will take my spot."

"What spot? Where are you?"

"There’s this girl I met, we’re standing right in front of the stage. You should come, the music they are playing now is sick!"

"Okay."

Frank took the elevator and went to the Scorpio dorm’s canteen to take burgers, having absolutely no idea how he was going to give them to Mikey - there was a crowd now, most of whom were standing, and there were no more blankets on the ground - people wanted to dance, as it was time for the university’s most popular bands, the biggest one of which was Chemistry. 

It dawned upon Frank how he could give the burgers to Mikey - he would have to get on the stage and give them to him right there - Mikey was in the first row. Frank walked to the space behind the stage with a paper bag in his hands. Thank god that at that moment, nobody was playing - there was a short break, so Frank climbed the steps and stopped, looking for Mikey in that sea of faces.

"Frankie! I’m here!" Iero heard and finally saw Gerard’s brother standing there, so he quickly handed him the paper bag with burgers. 

"Meet Kristin," Mikey introduced to him a pretty girl with hair the color of caramel.

"Hi," Frank said to her, when some guy with a guitar took him by the shoulder and asked what the hell he was doing up there. Frank didn’t say anything and just ran backstage.

"We’re Lost Alice!" the guy shouted into the microphone, and the crowd roared at the band that was taking the stage. They started playing - it was Mr Brightside by the Killers.

As it turned out, Chemistry was the only band on campus that mostly played original songs. The rest of the bands were playing covers, their setlists containing only one or two songs they wrote on their own, while with Chemistry, the situation was vice versa.

Frank looked around and found the entire band sitting on Gerard’s black blanket. Lindsey was there, too. 

"Guys, who’s going to play bass with us?" Frank asked. He totally forgot about the bass.

"Nobody," Gerard replied, taking a drag. Lindsey was sitting on his lap and smoking, too. Frank just wished he could take her place, but it was impossible, so it made him sick.

"You know we should give Mikey a chance. He’s becoming better and better at bass," Frank said. "Next month we’re gonna play at the fall ball, so maybe he’ll be with us? It would be so awesome."

"Brother Iero, you are so right," Gerard said. Lindsey smiled and blew smoke in his face, and Gerard kissed her on the lips. Frank couldn’t bear the sight of this and turned away. Lost Alice were now playing Supermassive Black Hole by Muse, and Frank didn’t like the way they covered it because the guitarist kept messing up, but the crowd seemed to love it.

"Come sit with us," Gerard said to Frank, who was standing nearby. Iero sighed and sat next to Gerard and Lindsey. His and Gerard’s knees were touching, and Frank felt it with his entire body.

That hour felt like a century, but eventually the time passed, and it was past 6 pm - time for Chemistry to perform. Lindsey sat on the left edge of the stage to film their performance. Gerard took off his thin gray coat and now was wearing only a white shirt and striped tie with black skinny pants. 

"We’re called Chemistry, and this pretty boy here playing rhythm guitar is Frank Iero, our new best friend!" Gerard said, and people cheered. 

The first song on their setlist was a cover - Bubblegum Bitch by Marina and the Diamonds, and when Gerard started singing the first verse, the crowd went wild. 

"I'll chew you up and I'll spit you out  
'Cause that's what young love is all about  
So pull me closer and kiss me hard  
I'm gonna pop your bubblegum heart!"

Frank felt like smashing things, but he couldn’t do that, obviously, so he started jumping with a guitar - he loved the song so much. Gerard kept coming up to Frank and touching him and holding his microphone for him. Frank felt uncomfortable because Lindsey was watching them and, moreover, filming.

When Gerard sang "Oh dear diary, I met a boy, he made my doll heart light up with joy," he looked directly at Frank and poked him in the shoulder with his index finger. The crowd sang along, and Frank forgot about all the sad stuff and for the first time in years felt like he actually belonged somewhere. He felt alive and real.

When the song ended, the crowd was thrilled. 

"You guys are awesome," Gerard said. "Are you ready for the next song? It’s about stabbing and/or being stabbed."

That was Our Lady Of Sorrows, the first Chemistry song that Frank ever learned and loved instantly. He was thrilled to play it for actual live audience and kept smiling, feeling happiness fill his veins. 

Frank couldn’t control himself - he danced with his guitar, jumped and banged his head to the music. He looked at all the people who seemed to have a good time, at Ray, Bob, and, of course, Gerard, at Mikey who had the time of his life in the first row, and he had a dangerous thought that it would be great to drop out of the university and devote his entire life to making music with these guys. The part he played was written by Ray, but for the next song they were going to play, Cubicles, Frank wrote the rhythm part himself and was immensely proud of it. 

They had planned that after the third song Gerard would sing Umbrella by Rihanna, alone, without any music, acapella. Gerard, as Frank noticed, had a rare talent of a showman. He raised his ands, and so did the crowd, he urged them to sing, and they sang along. When it was time for him to sing Umbrella, Frank hugged his guitar and sat, his eyes at Gerard. The crowd quickly recognised the song and started singing with him. Gerard’s voice was incredible. He danced and jumped, but this didn’t prevent him from singing perfectly, even if he was a bit short of breath. 

"Said I'll always be your friend, took an oath, I'ma stick it out 'til the end," Gerard sang, came up to Frank and ruffled his hair. Frank was a happy puppy. He kept smiling, and when the Gerard finished his cover, he realised it was time for him to go as he had already played all the Chemistry songs he knew. He wanted to put his guitar on the stand and go backstage, but Gerard stopped him.

"You sit here," he said to him, putting the mic away. Frank didn’t mind. He could watch Chemistry perform forever. 

Ray was perfect with his guitar. His parts were complex and beautiful, and he never messed up. Bob’s drumming skills impressed Frank once again too. He tried to play drums when he was 10 - his grandpa and father were drummers, and grandpa had thought Frank would continue the family tradition. But drums weren’t Frank’s thing, and he had quickly realised that as soon as his fingers touched a guitar. He learned it on his own, with the help of the internet, and only played when his soul needed music. But now, performing live for the first time in his life today, he felt that it as where he actually belonged, he felt that he had finally found the right world, the world of music.

When Chemistry played the last song, it was time to leave the stage. Frank didn’t want the moment to end, but he had to get up, wave at the crowd and go backstage.

"Catch us on the fall ball, we’ll play the best song we have ever written," Gerard said into the mic and left the stage. The boys from the band followed him. The crowd was roaring.

Even the sight of Lindsey and Gerard kissing did not prevent Frank from smiling. He was literally beaming, and when Gerard saw that, he said, "Aww, look guys, Frankie’s ecstatic!"

"So what do we do now?" Frank asked. 

"Take the instruments and stuff back to the auditorium," Ray laughed.

It took them two hours to do that. The stage remained, it was meant to be dismantled the next day.

"I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving," Gerard said, lighting a cigarette. It was already dark outside.

"Pizza," Mikey suggested. 

"I’m in," Frank said. "There’s a pizzeria across the road from campus. Me and Mikey’s favourite place. Even better than spaghetti from the canteen!"

"I’m excited!" Lindsey exclaimed, and so it was decided. Ray, Lindsey, Gerard, Frank, and Mikey (no Bob because he had some other stuff to do) walked to the pizza place. They took the special giant pepperoni pizza and destroyed it together. Frank was sitting across the table from Gerard, and Gerard’s legs kept touching Frank’s. Again, Iero felt it with his whole body. Every time they touched it was as if he was shot right in the guts. 

It was mostly Mikey who was mostly talking, and when Gerard told him that he may become their bassist if he wanted, Mikey got up and hugged his brother.

"Thanks for believing in me! I’m going to play bass every day and will do my best to be a part of Chemistry. You guys are my favourite band."

"Mine too," Frank said, his mouth full. Gerard smiled at him, and Frank felt that dead butterflies in his chest rise and fly again.

It was 10 pm when they left the pizzeria. Lindsey whispered something in Gerard’s ear, and he said, "Guys, we’ll go to Lindsey’s room in the hotel. Babe, when’s your flight to New York?"

"8 am."

"Brother Toro, can I borrow your car to take Linds to the airport?"

"Sure."

"Okay then. See you at the church tomorrow."

Lindsey and Gerard walked away from the campus together. Frank sighed, bowed his head and hid is hands in his pockets. 

"Let’s go, Frankie," Mikey said and put his hand on Frank’s shoulder. "Yesterday I downloaded The Witcher on my Nintendo, wanna check it out?"

"No way," Frank smiled sadly.

"Yes I did! I bought it with a huge discount. Been waiting for that sale for months."

That was how Frank ended up in Mikey and Gerard’s dorm room. Frank wasn’t sure what he expected, but the half of the room that belonged to Gerard was really messy.

"Sorry for the mess, my slob of a brother doesn’t want to waste time on cleaning," Mikey laughed. 

Gerard’s bed was unmade. His desk was littered with crumpled sheets of paper, battered sketchbooks, and colour pencils. There were drawings all over Gerard’s half of the room.

"I didn’t know he could draw really well," Frank said, taking a closer look at the drawings on the wall, while Mikey changed into his pyjamas. 

"These are characters from his stories, he writes them all the time," Mikey replied. "Mostly at night, when he’s not smoking in your room."

That was another side of Gerard Frank hadn’t known. 

"Are you going to stare at his drawings or play The Witcher?" Mikey asked. They played for about an hour, after which Nintendo’s battery died, and they had to go to sleep - they remembered they had to be up early for the mass the next day.

Frank fell asleep on Gerard’s bed, breathing in the aroma of his shampoo. He knew that right now he was away with his girlfriend, but sleeping in his bed felt like Gerard was right next to him.


End file.
